Richness from clinging

This is post 6 in the Suffering Well series. See all of the previous posts here.

My suffering experience has taught me (and still is) that there is great richness born from clinging to Christ for my very real, daily, even second-by-second needs.

The chorus in the Matt Maher song Lord I Need You captures this sentiment of clinging, of dependence, so simply and well. Here are it’s words:

Lord, I need You, oh, I need You
Every hour I need You
My one defense, my righteousness
Oh God, how I need You

In his song, he’s talking about needing Christ’s daily guidance against temptation and for righteous living, but I think this chorus captures something much more universal. Growing up, I used to think that dependence on anyone or anything was bunk; I was better off just trusting myself or making my own way. I’ve changed a lot since then. And mostly because of another sentiment captured well in Philippians 4:7. But I’ll include verses 6 and 7 here, because man is verse 6 instructive for how to approach God with our need. Here’s what it says:

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.

I bolded that last verse, because it captures so importantly one thing I’ve learned: God’s peace is better than any other kind of peace there is, any other kind of peace that I’ve ever experienced or known. It transcends circumstances and the reality of our grief. It can be found in the deepest, hardest, darkest places, and come at times when we think peace can’t be found, or can’t find us.

In John chapter 14, Christ is talking to his 12 disciples, preparing them for when he leaves. He talks to them about the Holy Spirit, who he will leave with them to be their Counselor. In verses 26-27 he says,

But the Counselor, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, will teach you all things and will remind you of everything I have said to you. Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.

Other translations use Comforter instead of Counselor.

This peace, the Holy Spirit’s peace, it is better than any kind of peace the world can give. Who better to give comfort than the Comforter, the Counselor, himself? What better place to find that peace that surpasses understanding, peace that overcomes very real fear? He alone offers peace that guards our hearts and our minds. And I don’t know about you, but when I need peace, it is because my heart and my mind are going craaaaazy. They feel untethered, and God’s peace, his person, has become my tethering place.

There have been times when I’ve been in my worse pain and can’t find comfort from any source. Maybe you’ve been there too, physically, or even emotionally. You’ve tried medication, meditation, distraction, etc. And I still have those things in my toolkit. But the only thing that has helped me in those moments is to literally picture myself wrapped in Christ’s embrace. I lay down on my pillow and picture it being his arms of peace, holding me as I sink into him. It feels silly to share out loud, but honestly, I cannot explain the deep and real comfort it has provided me.

I was reading Emily Freeman’s blog this morning, and this was said in a guest post:

It hurts to be sifted by sorrow, and I can glimpse no end to the hurt, and yet I find myself grateful. To be sifted by suffering is to find that all your usual worries have settled down into their proper places.

I have found this to be so true too. Having to be in a place of utter dependence on God, that place where you’re saying “Lord, I need You, oh, I need You, every hour I need You” (or minute, or second), it’s a good place in it’s own way. I’ve found a lot of meatiness here, things that have put more teeth to my faith. Because God does come through. More than in any other season or way, I’ve learned through my suffering that he is who he says he is and does what he says he’s going to do. He brings that peace, He is that Comforter. In this season I have learned that I need not fear the things I have let take root and grow like weeds in my life’s garden, those little and sometimes big-feeling worries of daily life. I do not need to try to be in control, because God is in control, and even in the most out of control place I’ve ever found myself in life, I’ve found this crazy, hard-to-put-into-words peace and comfort and rest. Those usual worries, they have found their proper place. And I have found my proper awe of God, my proper dependence on him, one that I hope I will take with me into my healthy and good days too. It’s okay to need and be needy, and I’ve found the one who can handle it all, the one who is dependable, the firmest of all foundations.

I know I’ve already referenced Psalm 46 once, but man if it isn’t ever relevant to this conversation too:

God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea, though its waters roar and foam and the mountains quake with their surging…The Lord Almighty is with us…The Lord Almighty is with us…

He is with us. In the worst, in the best, in the every day normal, and all in between. He is our ever-present help, and don’t we all need help? I have learned through my suffering, through needing him and his comfort in a way that I’ve never needed him before, that he is faithful. And because he’s faithful, I need not fear. And because I’ve tasted so much of his goodness, I find that I need him all the more, not just for such a time as this, but for all my time, all my days. I want to carry his goodness with me always. I’m seeing and feeling that a new kind of neediness has been birthed within me, and I’m becoming okay with being needy and dependent.

Friends, may he be your comfort in the midst of your days – your peace that is so deep and wide and strong – for whatever season you find yourself in right now, and for all seasons of your life. May you too find him to be unfailing, there, always present, with you in all your places of need. And may your need for him grow ever stronger as you drink of his goodness, goodness that can be found even when the mountains quake and the waters roar.